Anchor in the Storm
by Please.Insert.Name
Summary: No one ever said it, the words 'drug problem' hovered over their heads, unutterable. It was time for that to change.


_"Do not worry if you feel low; the sun has a sinking spell every night, but rises again all right the next morning."  
>~ Unknown<br>_

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><p>He couldn't believe he had done that! Reid had effectively crossed over the line, and he had to intervene. For months now he had watched as the youngest member of the BAU team had slowly withdrawn, becoming more irritable than usual, and causing concern amongst the team. He had let it slide, let Reid speak out against his friends, try to alienate them, but he had never thought he would do this.<p>

It had been a fairly bland hunt. A respite almost between the child abductions and mutilated bodies they had to deal with mostly. Being one of the most elite teams meant that they had to handle more gruesome work than others. That never meant that this case was pleasant, however, and Hotch knew that as soon as he felt that way he would hand in his resignation.

Rubbing his eyes, he looked over at the young genius, he looked troubled as he gazed out of the plane window. His brown eyes were misted over, the glazed look becoming too common on his features as of late. Hotch found it hard to believe that this was the same man who had came in fresh and eager to delve into the criminal mind. This was a stranger, one that thought it was okay to miss cases when they had so desperately needed his insight.

Glancing at Gideon, he saw that the older profiler was asleep. He knew that he had spoken with Reid, but lately he was beginning to wonder about his friend. Hotch knew that he was still recovering from Boston, and he had taken less than kindly to the changes made at the BAU during his absence. Not for the first time he wondered if he was actually invested in this team. Sure he had handpicked Reid for the program, but he had always mollycoddled him, wrapped him up in cotton wool, and never told him off for his mistakes.

That wasn't how to learn, and as much as Hotch hated to do it, a wake up call was needed, and it was up to him to throw the water.

They landed at midnight, the airstrip was lit up, blinding him slightly. The city was far from asleep, but those who were awake generally liked the dark for the anonymity it lent them, and so against the black scene the pinpricks of light seared his vision.

It was cold, and as the wind whipped around him, Hotch looked once more at Reid. The boy never seemed phased by the sudden decrease in temperature, even though his bony frame was shaking, visible for all to see.

The drive back to the office was silent. After a case all of them tended to lose themselves in their thoughts. Their minds trying to process what they had witnessed, whilst their bodies longed for their homes. Their safe havens if you will.

Hotch wanted to go home to Hailey, to see his son sleep, and for a moment relieve him of his cynicism. Jack reminded him that there was still purity in this world, but Reid was a perfect example of what happened when innocence was lost, tainted by the darkness that clung to the hearts of other human beings. He was a reminder of impermanence, and Hotch never wanted to see that happen to his son. However, if it did, he would hope someone would help him, and, looking at Reid through the side mirror, he knew that his mother would want the same.

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><p>Wearily, the team moved into the bullpen, grabbing last minute files before signing out and heading back down to the car park. Hotch moved to his office, catching Reid's eye, and dejectedly the genius followed him.<p>

If the others noticed, they never said anything.

Closing the door behind him, Hotch wondered if this was the best time. They were all worn out, and tired, not to mention that tension had been running high on this case. However, he had to get this sorted now, strike whilst the iron is hot and all that. Reid was sitting in front of his desk, his hands were clasped and he gazed at them, absorbed by the long pale fingers. As Hotch sat down, he snapped out of his stupor, but refrained from looking him in the eye.

"What is it?" Hotch was taken aback by the anger simmering beneath the three words.

"Spencer," he had decided that usage of his first name might lower some of the emotional barriers. It didn't. "I know you are going through a lot lately, but if you miss another case then I cannot defend you, Strauss _will_ find out and you _will_ be fired."

Brown eyes snapped up to him, and Hotch never through he would ever see so much fury contained within the usually calm orbs. Maybe this was a bad idea...

"Going through a lot?" Reid injected a little venom into his tone, "Going through a lot? You don't understand! None of you do!" It was clichéd, he knew it was clichéd, but who did Hotch think he was 'understanding' everything he had been through! The only person who had truly understood was now dead and cold in some grave. The only solace he gleaned from that was that at least Tobias had escaped. He was too much of a coward to seek that way out.

Hotch felt something in his mind click. He knew what Reid needed, and what he had been trying to get. He needed to feel.

"Then what did you go through? Help me understand, Spencer."

"You saw it, you know what happened," the words sounded hollow, the anger having left as soon as it had arrived, ensnaring his system before abandoning him.

Hotch would never forget those images. The picture of him tied to that chair still invaded his dreams, and never before had he felt so helpless. But was not about him. It was about the young man in front of him in the throes of the meltdown he had been staving off since his return.

"What did you feel though?" he pressed, bracing himself for the flood this would release.

"What would anyone feel!" yelled Reid, the fury was back with a vengeance, "I was angry. Angry at JJ for not being with me, angry at you for sending me to that house! But most of all, I was..." his voice faded, unable to go on.

"What were you?" pressed Hotch.

"I was fucking scared! They don't teach these things at the Academy! I never knew what to do, and then Gideon tried to help and he made it worse, much worse! He never prepared me for it, he was my mentor and he did _nothing_!"

"It was natural to be scared, no one knows how they will react in a pressure situation. You managed to hold it together, to stop him getting to you," said Hotch firmly.

"I never though," the whisper was a stark contrast from before, "Wh, when Tobias gave me that stuff, I felt... I felt like my mind had switched off. For once I couldn't recall everything, it was nice, like being normal. I, I wanted more."

Hotch knew at this point that Reid hadn't told another soul this. He felt oddly privileged. He moved from behind his desk, and knelt down, staring into the eyes of the emotionally drained agent that they had all failed. He saw many emotions swirl in their depths - fury and helplessness to name a few - but the most prominent was shame. He was scared that he would turn into Tobias. Dependent on dilaudid as he fervently tried to find an escape from reality. However, it wasn't this that he was most frightened of. Reid had wanted to escape, and now that he had the means, he was one step closer to becoming his captor.

"Did you take any more?" The vital question. The answer everyone suspected, but that wasn't important, what was vital was how Reid was answer it, as it would determine how far gone he was.

"I couldn't help it... I, I wanted to so badly, and now I can't stop, I want to so badly, but I'm not strong enough," to Reid's embarrassment, tears started to form at the corner of his eyes, and blinking them away, he focused on his supervisor. Instead of anger, his eyes were filled with understanding, and this only made the tears fall faster. A large hand was placed on his shoulder, ceasing his shaking, anchoring him and helping him gain a modicum of control.

He had just taken the first step.

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><p><em>AN: This isn't what I normally do so I apologise if it is awful. I was given a challenge by The Fictionist to write a Hotch/Reid hurt/comfort fic where Hotch was comforting Reid, and this was the best I could do (oh dear). Timeline wise it is just after the episode 'Jones' when Reid pretty much missed the case. _

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds... if I did then - okay going any further is not appropriate for the rating of this story..._

_I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes contained within this story._

_Please Review!_


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